Shoot the Lobster

Globohomo
July 14 – August 18, 2023 

Utah Synder

Beer and loathing on the Champagne trail.
US beer importers had a brewed awakening after Belgian customs officials destroyed a
massive cache of Miller High Life over using “Champagne” on its packaging.
Agents reportedly seized 2,352 cans of the American discount beverage in February
after it arrived in Antwerp en route to Germany, CBS reported.
They then opened each can and dumped the offending suds out like something from an
old “Prohibition”-era newsreel.
This “Boston Tea Party”-esque destruction was executed at the behest of the Comité
Champagne — the committee designated to protect the French sparkly wine’s
distinction that was unhappy with the brew’s slogan dubbing itself the “Champagne of
Beers.”
According to European law, goods can’t be imported with the word “Champagne” on its
packaging, unless they hail from that specific region in Southwest France.
Naturally, they didn’t feel that the Milwaukee, Wisconsin-brewed bargain brew — which
has called itself the moniker since 1906 — fit the bill.
Belgian customs boss Kristian Vanderwaeren told reporters that the motto went against
“protected designation of origin ‘Champagne,’ and this goes against European
regulations.”
The case is peculiar, given that Molson Coors Beverage Co. — Miller High Life’s parent
company — does not currently export it to the EU, AP reported.
Meanwhile, Belgian customs officials declined to divulge who gave the order to create
the brew-haha.
Molson Coors Beverage Co. has since weighed in on the destruction of its suds.
“We remain proud of Miller High Life, its nickname and its Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
provenance,” the company said.
“We invite our friends in Europe to the US any time to toast the High Life together.”